Ever wondered what would have happened to Molly Ringwald’s character in Sixteen Candles if she’d been a real person who had to grow up and get a job like the rest of us?
Well, wonder no more.
She would have put aside her dreams of becoming a novelist to pursue the “safer,” more “lucrative” option of advertising. She’d work the local agency circuit and freelance, getting by on her good hair and false bravado before admitting she liked the work and was pretty good at it. Maybe she hadn’t sold her soul after all. Instead she sold banks, snack cakes, hospitals and insurance.
She’d stick to that script till well into her 30s. Then there’d be that bad time she didn’t like to talk about. A heart would be broken. A job lost. The Smiths would play nonstop on her iPod.
It’d take awhile, but she’d recover.
She’d take trips (Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Peru) and lovers (Victor, Alex, that guy in the hat, David) until she regained her footing and bought a house that she liked to call her fortress of solitude. Eventually, she’d share it with a Rhodesian Ridgeback named Kamali. And that David guy would stick around too.
By the time the number of candles on her birthday cake was closer to 46 than 16, she’d be comfortable with her reimagined self. She’d start a mentoring blog for young women called AuntieVenom.com as a way of giving her 18-year-old niece a few spoiler alerts, cautionary tales and a proper ’80s pop culture education to take the sting out of growing up.
She’d think of herself as an introvert’s introvert and hero to awkward girls everywhere.
She’d think about writing a memoir. But she’d probably just end up making a mix tape.
With Luckie since: 2009
Expertise: Turning brand stories into human experiences
Key client experience: Regions Bank, McKee Foods, CareSpot, Alfa Insurance, Alabama Power and Williamsburg, VA